You Cannot Pack Hot Foods For Lunch Without a Microwave

Because Lily will not have access to a microwave at school, I felt very limited by what I could pack. I was thinking everything had to be room temperature. I worried about packing proteins: milk, cheese, and meat should not be allowed to come to room temperature.

Then I did some research on thermoses and realized they have come a long way since I was kid. I found an amazing thermos that ensures food stays hot for 5 HOURS and cold for even longer! This was such a relief for me as it opened a lot of doors for what kind of food I could send.

I make a lot of soups, pastas, and rice casseroles for meals in our house because they taste great reheated for my husband’s lunch at work. But now I can just make a little extra and send them in my kid’s lunch, too! I learned some quick tips for keeping your food hot inside the thermos for as long as possible.

• First, heat water to almost boiling
• Add it into the empty thermos for 5 minutes
• Meanwhile, heat the food in a microwave (use bowl) or on the stove. Do not heat food in the thermos because metal is not safe inside a microwave
• Empty the thermos of hot water and insert warm food
• Close it up tight and you are done!

I did extensive research to find the best thermos and chose to purchase these ones for packing school lunch. You will want one (or two) that is vacuum insulated and double walled. If you want a slightly cheaper option, choose this one. I also stumbled across a Thermos brand one with tags on, never used at Goodwill for $7! You could try your luck at a thrift store, but since eventually a thermos will leak, it is better to buy new.

I do not have enough options for fruits/veggies my kids will eat

Sometimes it is easier to take the expensive route and let the school take the job of serving your kid a variety of fruits and vegetables. My kid only really likes carrots, every other vegetable I have to encourage her to eat at the dinner table. Without me there, will she eat the fruits and vegetables I pack?

With a little research on these concerns I found two great resources.

First, this chart helps me come up with ideas of what to pack. Big thanks to 5dollardinners.com!

Second, I found this article for ideas to make my kid’s lunch arranged in an appealing, fun way. I know my kids are more willing to eat their food when it’s in the shape of a face or something silly! Just scrolling through those pictures gave me lots of great ideas to make foods that my kids only sometimes eat look more appealing.

You Cannot Pack Hot and Cold Things Together

I was under the impression if you pack cold items and hot items in the same lunch box, they will affect each others’ temperatures. But amazingly, if you buy the right thermos, absolutely NO heat transfers! The thermos does not even condensate or change temperature at all on the outside.

Otherwise, you can opt for a lunch box with two insulated compartments to hold hot and cold food separately. Or, get this new OmieBox from Bento that can hold hot and cold foods in the same box and maintain individual temperatures! Amazing!

With the right equipment, any dilemma you are facing when packing school lunch can be solved. And when you think about the $2.75 per meal you will be saving, the $15 lunch box and two $15 thermoses are worth the investment!

Thanks for reading! I hope if you are wondering how to accomplish packing school lunch every day for your child that I helped! Share this advice to a friend you know who could use one of these tips. Oh, and don’t forget to pin!

Thanks for reading – see you all next Monday!

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Labeling In Boxes

Society has a tendency to put everyone into boxes. We want people to identify attributes about themselves so that we can see where they fit in and belong. The bad thing about this with children is that they change. Kids drastically change from year to year as they grow, influenced by their friends, experiences, successes, failures, and especially their parents. But parents, just like everyone in society, wants their children to be labeled and neatly put into boxes that society accepts. When a child starts to change–for instance, when they were 5 years old they were shy but as they age they become outgoing–children are conflicted between the label they’ve been given by their parents about their personality and what they feel about themselves now.

In this instance, she enjoyed being put in a box.

Labels Are Bad, Even if They Are About Good Things

You might say to your child that they are so smart to praise them, but unfortunately that language will not accomplish the self-worth you are trying to foster in your child. Labeling them as smart gives them an impossible standard to uphold. Your child will undoubtedly face situations they do not feel smart, especially as they age and other children surpass their intelligence for some reason or another. Again, the label makes your child conflicted and scared of failure. If they try something that they will likely fail at, like a difficult math course, they risk not being considered “smart.” Therefore, they stick with safe activities they know they are already good at, completely limiting their potential. More can be found on this concept by reading the book “Mindset” by Carol Dweck.

So what do we do? You stop labeling your kids and change the language you use. There is a way to encourage your child’s self-confidence and give them the freedom to determine their identity without parental influence. Click here to get some insight and change the way you talk to your kids.

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Steps to Self-Sufficiency

The author of the book explained the guidance required for raising capable kids, and it isn’t quick or easy. So often we just do things for our children because we can do it better and faster. However, if we never take the time to teach them how, they will not be capable on their own. The steps to self-sufficiency are as follows:

1. First we show them how to do the chore.
2. Then they do the chore with us.
3. Next we oversee them doing the chore, not helping them complete it.
4. Finally, they do the chore completely by themselves.

I think most parents get stuck on steps 2 or 3. It is very hard to give your children the control over the task to do it on their own. It involves a level of trust and acceptance. For instance, if I teach Lily how to sort our cloth diaper laundry and expect her to do a load all on her own, she might not sort things quite right. The shells cannot be put in the dryer and the inserts need to be dried on low. I could be left with a shell ruined by being tossed in the dryer, a predicament that could have been prevented by overseeing her completing the chore (step 3). Can you tell this is a true story?

The Chore List

With this in mind, the chore list for your children should be tasks you trust them to complete up to your standards. It is incredibly important not to re-do any work your child put into the chore because it will discourage them from doing it themselves ever again and eat away at their self-confidence. The chore list in our house is tailored to the child’s age and abilities, but kids are capable of a lot more than you think.

Nick (Age 3.5) chores include

• Unloading the dishwasher, putting the silverware away himself and handing the rest to his parent who is tall enough to reach upper cabinets.
• Cleaning up toys.
• Putting away his clean laundry in the closet.

Lily (Age 5) chores include

• Clearing the table after meals and loading dirty dishes into the dishwasher.
• Putting away clean laundry in her closet.
• Cleaning up toys and straightening up the living room.
• Washing countertops and tabletops in the bathroom and kitchen.
• Peeling vegetables for meals (carrots, zucchini, potatoes)
• Sorting laundry and moving it from washer to dryer when the load is done.

These lists are the chores I expect my children to be able to do all on their own (with obvious exceptions, like Nick not being able to reach cabinets to put away dishes). There are also tasks we are working on teaching them, like Lily is learning to do the laundry all by herself and Nick is learning to vacuum with the handheld vacuum on the steps. Theo (11 months) is even getting in on the action. He helps unload the dishwasher when Nick is working, handing silverware and plates up for someone to put away.

Raising Capable Kids

The important thing to remember when you begin expecting chores from your children, is to think about how you approach them.

• Chores should be consistent; you can’t expect it sometimes and let them off the hook others because then they won’t own the responsibility.
• Chores should be done thoroughly and to the best of the child’s ability. The parent should praise the effort put forth and offer constructive criticism to improve for next time. Don’t let your child do a sloppy job and say “Good work!” anyways.
• Chores should never be redone by a parent after the child completed them. Lily cannot load the dishwasher as well as I can, but I would never redo her work. It diminishes her efforts and sends the message that I don’t believe she can do it. With practice, she will get better. But she won’t want to practice if I choose to do it afterward anyway.

I believe chores are very important in raising capable kids. If you found this topic interesting, you should read the book How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims. Her perspective is well researched and articulated. Let me know what you think about giving kids chores? What household chores did you have as a child?

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Rule 1: One present at a time

We usually let one person at a time open a present. This is an important rule for children to understand each gift means something in and of itself. It makes everyone focus on what each present is and think about why the person who gave the gift might have chosen it. It also gives your child the stage for a bit so they pay more attention to what they are actually opening; all eyes are on them.

Rule 2: You can’t open the next gift until thank yous are completed

The “What’s next” question really bothers me because it implies the child is ungrateful for the gift they already have, they’re just looking for something better. So this year, after one gift is open, appropriate thanks must be given to the giver of the gift before the next gift is opened. Appropriate thank yous involve eye contact, full sentences: “Thank you for the …” and maybe even hugs.

Rule 3: If there is any complaining about a gift you have received, it is taken away.

I haven’t had to deal much with complaining in regards to gifts, but I do know it’s likely to happen this year as my children experience a little more sibling rivalry than when they were younger. I can almost hear my daughter saying, “But I didn’t get as fun of a present as Nick. Mine was just clothes.” There is nothing that grinds my gears more than entitlement. If one of my kids complains about a gift, or heaven forbid, throws a tantrum over not getting something they wanted, I plan to take away that present for at least a week.

You want your kids opening presents to elicit excitement and spark that Christmas magic to spread across their faces. All too often, our picturesque gift opening is tainted by rude behavior and your kids embarrass you with bad manners. Set these rules ahead of time with your kids opening presents and follow through; gracious and polite behavior is rudimentary in teaching your children to be good people. Christmastime is no exception.

The best gifts under the tree.

On a lighter note, I want to welcome you to tour my holiday home if you haven’t already. Come check out all the DIY decor and inspirational ideas for Christmas, I promise you won’t be disappointed. Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas this Sunday!

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When I think about the best ways to help your children have lasting memories of something, I don’t imagine a parent snapping photographs in front of the Disney castle the way commercials portray. I think of intangible things that will reside vividly in your child’s mind, not necessarily on Facebook. The smell of the banana bread I always make for them as a special treat or the sound of forest leaves crunching under feet as they venture through the forest to explore.

Ironically, I did upload this picture to Facebook. Regardless, making memories last with your kids can be encouraged by enacting these three things.

Being Present

It’s hard to really be there in the moment with your kids these days. Our cell phones give us a screen to distract us and entertain us at all times. Being connected to the internet is not as important as being connected to your kids. Of course, we all believe this, but we don’t act on it. Eliminate technology distractions and you will find it easier to be present for your children and engage in making memories last with them.

Reminiscing With Your Children

I’ve mentioned in my post “How your kids will love bedtime” that when I lay my kids to rest, I recap the day with them. I think this is a wonderful way to form memories with your child. It is easy for a kid to feel overwhelmed with new things their learning, emotions they feel, and questions about the world that they let their day slip by without appreciating what happened to them. When you talk through the events of the day with them, your child’s brain remembers them better.

Giving them Space

I read an article once that pointed out something I found very interesting. Think back to one of your best childhood memories. Who were you with? What were you doing? Oftentimes the best memories are when children feel autonomous and adventurous, without their parents. Giving our children space can sometimes be just what they need to make memorable moments.

Making memories last with your kids doesn’t have to take a lot of effort or expense. Kids don’t need a Disney land vacation and a ton of Christmas presents to feel nostalgic reminiscing about their childhood. If you make an effort to be present in your interactions with them, recap their good times, and give them space to explore on their own, your children will surely have memories they fondly think upon even as they grow old.

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It’s probably because I’m surrounded by middle class, well educated folks most of the time. These parents simply want their children to get ahead and they have the money to put them in numerous activities that promise to do just that. But I have a problem with this mentality. I don’t have a problem with scheduling activities for kids, I have a problem with overscheduled kids. Kids who are “never home” and kids who hardly ever have one-on-one time with their parents and kids who feel the pressure to learn so much more than should be expected of them at such a young age. I’m going to outline for you exactly why this is a problem and some dangers I have observed with raising overscheduled kids.

1. They Lack Creativity

Creativity blossoms from boredom. Almost every highly creative person I know had a childhood full of free time to think and free play. Free play is beyond important, especially for children under the age of 5, and it boggles my mind how few children have this in their day. Most of them go to daycare all day with a schedule full of activities, then home where they eat dinner, sit in front of the TV, take a bath, and go to bed. Or, add in some gymnastics and T-ball classes. Sound familiar?

You’re not doing your child any favors by always supplying them with something to do. You can make suggestions and set up fun games and activities every once and while. That is wonderful! But most kids now a days have no idea what to do if their parent just tells them to “go play.” Older kids have very limited hobbies outside of expensive, scheduled, and highly stressful organized sports. This is because their creativity was stifled by an endless amount of entertainment from their TV. Now a days it’s not just the screens, but also the parents who give children endless things to do so they never have to entertain themselves.

Read 5 reasons your kids should stop watching TV

2. Their Relationship With Their Parents is Hindered

There’s not a lot of time for one-on-ones with your parent while you’re so busy. There’s not a lot of time to fight, let alone make up. Interactions with overscheduled kids are usually initiated by the parent because kids don’t always  speak up about important things on their mind until they have the space to do so. Not only that, but think of how many meaningful conversations start in the car on the way to somewhere and get cut short because your child has to get out and go to basketball practice on time.

3. Family Dinners Are Demolished

Stephen and I once had a friend who we hadn’t seen in months come into town. He planned to visit us, but when he heard is Mom was cooking a home-cooked meal for dinner (spaghetti), he bailed on us. He said it had been ages since he could remember sitting down for home-cooked meal with his family and he just couldn’t pass up the chance. It made me realize how fortunate I was to sit down with my family every single night for dinner and eat a meal my mom prepared from scratch for her kids.

Call me old fashioned, but I think spending time as a family at the end of every day is extremely important. Family dinners is one way to accomplish this, but if you have another that works with a hectic activity schedule, the more power to you. But more often I’ve seen families ditch spending time with each other in favor of their kids spending time kicking a ball. Even though you don’t pick the practice times, you do pick the activities. You are choosing to give up your family time by letting your kids be in tons of stuff. Your kids desperately need family time to feel a sense of belonging and support from their parents and siblings–that doesn’t develop the same way on the sidelines.

Watch this touching video from IKEA that outlines exactly that.

4. Overscheduled Kids Are Expensive

This past summer I caved to the pressure and scheduled Lily for a few activities. They were fine, but they weren’t worth the money. It cost $27 for a sports sampler of eight 30 min classes. If I did that four times a year (one activity a season) that would cost me $120. After seeing how little value activities at such a young age provide, I decided to schedule Lily only for activities in the dead of winter when we really struggle with the stir crazies at home. This experience got me thinking about the moms who constantly have each of their children signed up for two, four, or even six community ed classes and after school sports and piano lessons. They must spend hundreds!

And I’m not even going to scratch the surface of the expense when your child gets to be a teenager in competitive sports. Just to keep up, you have to sign your kid up for extra practices, buy them top of the line equipment, and of course they have to play in travel. If they don’t, they won’t stand a chance at being one of the “best” in their sport. It’s not just a matter of time commitment at this point. It’s a monetary commitment that is staggering when you think about what your kid might actually gain from all that versus what they’re giving up. I don’t know what my husband and I will do when our children are that age. Perhaps we will just let them be mediocre, or perhaps we will let them each pick one sport and try to draw limits. It’s a hard thing to swallow.

Not to mention all the money your mini van wastes on gas lugging your kids around.

5. They Are Overwhelmed

An overscheduled kid no doubt feels overwhelmed at times. This can manifest in so many ways. Your preschooler having meltdowns and needing naps again, your preteen feeling inadequate because she’s in so many things she can’t master anything, or your teenager constantly coming down with mono and bronchitis and other serious illnesses. The time commitment in a life that is overscheduled allows little room for homework, household chores, and just relaxing with your family or friends. Kids who are overscheduled learn to manage their time by prioritizing activities over necessities (like keeping a clean room or cooking a healthy meal). This does not set them up with great habits for a healthy life.

In conclusion, I write this article because I want to voice my opposition to the pressures of society to overschedule my kids. I know maybe you think we spend too much time at home, but I think you spend too much time running around with your head chopped off. I want to see less kids who are stressed out and strung along from activity to the next and more children playing on the local playground. I want to see less parents who feel inadequate like I did if their child isn’t in everything. Your child doesn’t need to be in anything and you don’t need to try so hard to help them find their talents and interests. I want to see more balance in our kids’ lives so they end up being capable in more than just the one or two activities they spent their entire childhood on. I want to see more families who spend down time together, not at a planned event or in the car.

Please share if you agree or if this post is relatable to you! Do you struggle to find the balance between enough activities in your kids’ lives and overscheduled stress?

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I work hard at my temper. I write lots of parenting articles on my blog promoting good parenting, and to me, losing control over your temper does not belong in the realm of good parenting. So I try time and again to tame my temper. I have tried tens of tips over hundreds of hours to find tactics that actually work. And it’s not as simple as “Count to 3 in your head” or “Take a deep breath.” The problem with that is, you’re assuming the person with the temper is in control of their emotions enough to stop before yelling and enact this tactic. If you truly have a temper, you know it’s very hard to stop once you’re close to blowing up. The common advice just doesn’t work. So I figure I must not be alone. Learn to control your temper in ways that ACTUALLY work and read on.

1. Write Down the Offense

After every time you yell at your kids, write down why. What did they do? I write down everything that makes me yell after the fact. I do this exercise in bouts, but I should do it all the time because it works. When I start writing down, I usually write about five things a day (this is yelling, not losing it). Within a couple days I’m down to one or two. This is because writing it down holds you accountable. It makes your temper tangible, the same way writing a to-do list makes you more productive.

This is an example of one of my weekly lists.

Once you have a list of the offenses that caused you to yell, you can start to avoid getting into those situations. You can also look for patterns and decipher what they mean. On my list there was lots of “Lily not listening after I asked the same thing 3 times” and “Nick not sitting in time out after I told him to.” These instances exemplify that my kids have a lack of respect for what I say. They don’t take what I say seriously. I think finding this pattern is what helped me determine what causes me to lose my temper above all else, and it was achieved by writing it down.

2. Have Your Words Taken Seriously

I first read about the “Asked and Answered” technique from a blog article on positive parenting solutions. As I just explained, I most commonly lose my temper when I repeat myself numerous times and my kids do not listen. In order to make your words carry more weight, answer the child’s question, then any further pleading or nagging, respond with a simple phrase: “Asked and answered.” Read more about it in the link to the article. Basically you only answer your child once and then repeat “Asked and answered” until they take what you said seriously.

source

I read more about only saying things once in the book “Have A New Kid By Friday” by psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman. He acknowledges the number one reason parents lose their temper is because their words are not respected.

He writes, “If you want your child to take you seriously, say your words only once. Only once. If you say it more than once, you’re implying, ‘I think you’re so stupid that you’re not going to get it the first time, so let me tell you again.’ Is that respectful of your child?”

If you tell your child to clean up their room, do not remind them or yell at them for not doing it immediately. Simply wait until they want something from you (a snack, outside time, etc) and tell them no. They will start to take your words more seriously if you refuse to do anything for them until they have done what you asked of them. These two tactics have tamed my temper IMMENSELY because I’m no longer cajoling my children to listen.

3. Apologize For Losing Your Temper

The type of parent who constantly loses it with their kids is usually an authoritarian. I was raised by a parent like that and I skim the line between authoritarian and authoritative often. One thing an authoritarian can do to control their temper is actually apologize to their child after yelling at them. This is deeply difficult for an authoritarian parent because they are status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without question simply because they are the parent. Apologizing for any behavior undermines their feeling of authority and makes them feel as though they are giving control to their children by asking them for forgiveness.

But, here’s the thing. Losing your temper is not okay. You obviously are ashamed of it, otherwise you wouldn’t have read this far into my article. If you want respect from your children, you need to respect them. And losing your temper, yelling and screaming at them, is not respectful. Would you feel respected if an adult did that to you? Some day your children will be adults and model the behaviors you taught them. Imagine if you had to apologize to your child every time you yelled at them. If you have a bit of an authoritarian in you like I do, you can bet this hurts your ego enough to get you to stop. I never want to be in a position of asking my child for forgiveness, but I believe losing my temper justifies that. Now I lose my temper a lot less to avoid giving apologies.

The other important thing to remember if you struggle with a temper is that you’re not alone. Learn to control your temper by reaching out to other who have the same goal in parenting their children. Make friends with people who are good at implementing positive parenting and make sure you take their advice as helpful, not judgmental. Every day you live with a temper that puts you in guilt, but it can change if you try. Every day your children have to see the angry version of you. Here’s a bonus tip: take a picture of your angriest face, or even of you yelling. It isn’t flattering, let me tell you.

Is that how you want your kids to remember you?

Feel free to share your thoughts, your struggles, and ask questions. I’m in this blogging business to help others!

Read more parenting articles related to this one:

• Prevent Toddler Temper Tantrums
• 5 Discipline Mistakes
• Handle a Tantrum in Public
• What Defines a Good Parent
• How Your Kids Will Love Bedtime
• Parenting Mindset and Language
• How to Discipline Less

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1. Have a Medical Treatment Plan & Consent Form

2. Type The Kids’ Typical Daily Schedule

The last time I detailed my children’s daily schedule was back when I revealed the secret to how I get so much done. That was when my son was 5 months old and taking three naps a day. Now he’s 14 months and done breastfeeding, taking one nap, and sleeping longer at night. My daughter is 3 years old and has had this same schedule for a year and a half. You’ll notice they eat and sleep at the same time. I’m pleased to have achieved this while Nick is so young! Hopefully this makes the caretaker’s job a little easier.

My disliked foods section under Lily’s column is not a joke. Get help encouraging your picky child to eat here.

3. Type Up All Allergies and Medical Needs

If your child has any food allergies or sensitivities, be sure to write them down for your caretaker, don’t just tell them verbally. If it’s written on something they can ideally stick on their fridge, they’re less likely to forget since they see the reminder every time they get something to eat. If your child has medical needs or medications, WRITE DOWN the specific instructions and send them with. Never assume communication. My husband, who is now a manager (and a damn good one), always says if you didn’t repeat the instructions until it was uncomfortable, you didn’t get the message across clearly.

4. Teach Caretaker How to Properly Install & Use Car Seats

This is another safety issue that is often overlooked. Never assume someone knows how to properly use a car seat, even yourself. Read this post I wrote on car seat mistakes almost everyone makes and refresh yourself with your car seat manual. Then teach your children’s caretaker what to do and how to be sure your child will be safely transported while you’re gone.

5. Create a Packing List & Send It With Your Kids

Obviously you will be sending tons of clothes, care items, special toys and blankets, foods, and all sorts of other items with your child when you send them to stay elsewhere. You’re probably sending more stuff with them than you are bringing with you on your trip! You make a packing list for your trip so you don’t forget anything, why wouldn’t you do that for your kids? List everything you sent them with and then tuck that list in with their bags where they won’t find it. When you come back to pick them up, you can pull out the list and be sure you’ve collected everything that is meant to come home.

6. Give Your Children a Special Something to Remember You By

Depending on your child’s age and personality, saying goodbye for an extended amount of time might put them in an emotional state. My son is only 1 and he loves being with his parents. I gave him a little picture of Mommy and Daddy in a frame for him to look at while we’re gone. I don’t know if it will help or just remind him that we’re gone. My daughter is 3 and quite enjoys her time away from her parents. I think she wishes she lived at her grandparent’s. I doubt this week we are on vacation will be hard for her, but I gave her a card to read when she misses us, just in case.

I know this vacation I will miss my children dearly, but I also know I will enjoy myself and the break from the every day. Whenever I’m feeling heartache for my kids, I think of how many times I will get to be here:

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Fortunately for me, I was raised on a farm. I was raised with two parents, each from the same small town, who weren’t interested in “city slickers” as my dad calls them. I was raised with sisters who did not compete to be the prettiest or have the nicest clothes and brothers who could care less what their sisters looked like. I was raised to not pay much attention to my looks. I have thought about this a lot since I was a teenager. I have thought about this question: ‘Why do so many women I know have low self-esteem and why am I different?’

To take it a step further, my mother rarely talked about looks. She rarely commented on how we dressed, unless it was not modest enough. She seldom judged our appearance, not telling us whether we looked “good” or “bad.” She never shelled out money for us to get new clothes or professional haircuts, making it clear she felt those were not things worth spending money on. She NEVER commented on our weight or if she felt we were too skinny or plump at different stages in life. My mother rarely told us to fix our hair a certain way or that we looked beautiful all dressed up. Whether we looked pretty or plain, she treated us just the same.

   

5. I limit my daughter’s societal pressure.

If your daughter is in school or older, there’s not much control over what media she is experiencing that constructs her expectations of self image. But if your child is younger, think about what messages she is exposed to. I personally am adverse to princesses and pretty pink products. I don’t mind if my daughter has some of this, but I want to be sure I am not forcing her too much into one gender stereotype. I don’t want princesses being sought after and praised and recognized simply for their beauty (Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, etc) as her example. And please, oh please, don’t let your little girl watch the TV show “Toddlers in Tiara’s.”

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