Parenthood is Not That Exhausting…No Really

Once my best friend asked me, “What’s the hardest part about parenting?” I told him that for me, the hardest part was keeping my temper in check. He said he had asked a few other parents, all in their 30’s I might add, and their answer was “It’s exhausting.” I was surprised to hear this because I have never felt very tired as a parent. I’ve been more tired as a teenager staying up late talking on the phone and in college working on a paper until morning. I realized I have never been truly exhausted because I am so young and my body can still bounce back easily from the late night wake-up calls for milk or monsters. Plus being a parent keeps you home more, so most nights I am able to go to bed as early as 9 pm–if I want to that is.

Everyone Stares at You

It used to be the worst when I just had Lily. When you are toting around a baby and you look like you’re a teenager, everyone stares. Especially in grocery stores. Once you have more than one kid, you get less dirty looks, but more awkward glances. I think at that point people assume you didn’t make “a mistake” and you must be older than you look.

You know you’re a young mom when you take selfies with your kids.

Strangers Say the Darndest Things

At the hospital giving birth to my third child, you should’ve seen the nurse’s faces when they were under the impression it was my first. Wait, you’re 25? Blank stare. It might be worse for the grandparents, they hear, “You don’t look old enough to be a grandma!” about ten times a day. I wonder if people understand what this comment is insinuating and that they are highlighting insecurities ingrained in women’s minds for the last two generations. I was once in an auto shop with just my youngest when the following conversation unfolded. It was the perfect example of how most strangers insert themselves into your situation and judge you because you look too young to know better.

This middle-aged woman said, “What an adorable baby, how old is he?”
I said, “Thank you, 7 months old.”
She said, “Oh he must be crawling all around, just you wait, he’ll start walking in just a few short months.”
I said, “He doesn’t crawl, yet. He is pretty young for that.”
She responded, “Oh honey, no. Most babies crawl around 6 months. But that’s okay, he will catch up. Don’t worry.”

I didn’t respond. I could’ve said that this is my third kid, or that most babies don’t crawl at 6 months, or that she should mind her own business. But I didn’t, because that was just one in a sea of comments I get from strangers every time I’m out that are inappropriate.

You Constantly Question Your Parenting

Of course, the previous point leads right into this one. Society tells us we are too young to be good parents, so we are always left wondering, are we good parents? I don’t think being a young mom disqualifies me from being a good parent. I was once told just the fact you are thinking about ways to improve your parenting shows you are a good parent. It’s true that the brain doesn’t fully develop until humans reach their mid-twenties. Perhaps this is why I am constantly feeling the need to improve and grow in my parenting knowledge and abilities. It’s how my brain has been growing for the last five years of my life.

It’s Easier To Get Your Body In Shape After Pregnancy

I will admit, this is a great benefit of being a young mom. Your metabolism is likely higher than moms that are older than you so your post-partum body can bounce back faster. Your skin is usually more elastic and resilient, so stretch marks are not as noticeable. Your face has fewer wrinkles and shows little in the form of bags under the eyes. It’s true that being young gives you a higher chance of achieving a “hot mom bod,” something I’m grateful for.

In Cozumel with my husband, feeling hot–literally and figuratively.

You Lose Friends, But the Good Ones Stick Around

I had kids before any of my high school friends did. At age 25, I finally have a friend who had a baby near the time I had my third.

Theo & Landon, born 4 weeks apart

I am surprised by how being a young mom has shaped my friendships. I have lost friends that I thought would be around for a lifetime because they felt we were in different places in our lives. I have also gained numerous new friends who are parents and are a great source of support for me, although they are 5-10 years older than myself. And most importantly, I have a few amazing friends who have stuck by my side, even though our lives are starting to look like polar opposites, making an effort to stay interested even if I am unrelatable to them. I love you (you know who you are)!

Though being a young mom has given me many ups and downs, the best thing it has given me are these three children. I wouldn’t change a thing.

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Within the last year, I’ve reignited my love of reading. I mostly enjoy reading self-improvement and parenting books. The advice I find in these novels often reiterates what I already know about parenting my children, but they give me new tactics and fresh ideas towards achieving success.

Raising my children is the most important task I will do in my entire life; I don’t want to go about it with just my “gut feelings.”

Best Parenting Books I’ve Read

These three books have enlightened me more than any other literature I’ve found in the world of parenting. They each have helped me identify flaws in my parenting style and weaknesses in my personality which could lead to detrimental effects on my children. More than anything, these books have helped me find a better way and improve on myself as a parent and a person. If you are a mom striving to be the best parent you can be, or struggling through some really tough times with your kids, I highly suggest  you read these, the 3 best parenting books as recommended by me.

1. Parenting With Love & Logic

by Foster Cline & Jim Fay

This novel was originally printed in 1990 and since has become a staple for other parenting books to reference. Its advice is concise and well organized which makes retaining the information so easy. I like to reread this book every so often and I fold over the pages in it to reference again later. Some of the key points I took away from reading this book are:

• Allow your child to make mistakes and experience life’s natural consequences
• The problem is best solved by the person whose problem it is (i.e. Don’t solve your child’s problems)
• The more control over your children you relinquish, the more you will gain
• Encourage your child’s thoughts and autonomy as much as possible

There’s a reason Parenting With Love And Logic has become a classic for child psychologists to recommend and for parents to read. It provides a lot of great advice and the parenting style is not mainstream.

2. Have a New Kid by Friday

by Dr. Kevin Leman

This book I picked up at a garage sale and thought the title seemed very hokey, but it was worth a try. I actually loved it! The author’s sense of humor makes this a fast and enjoyable read. Dr. Leman is a psychologist who writes about raising his five children utilizing some unorthodox methods. I also love his quick reference guide in the back of this book where you can look up his sound advice on some of parenting’s toughest topics, alphabetized for convenience. Some great advice I absorbed from Have a New Kid by Friday:

• Only say something to your child once. If you say it more than once, you are giving your child the opportunity to disregard your words and subconsciously telling your child you don’t think they are quick enough to understand you the first time.
• B does not happen before A is done. If your child isn’t doing what you want, they do not get to do the next thing.
• Allowances can be a useful mechanism in running your house smoothly, teaching your children responsibility, and disciplining your children.

3. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

by Carol Dweck, PhD
This self-help book isn’t specifically geared towards parenting, but it drastically shaped the way I parent my children and the language I use with them every day. Mindset is about identifying where you might have a fixed mindset in areas of life and changing your thinking to a growth mindset. Dweck shares all her research that supports the growth mindset leads to more success in all avenues of life–parenting, careers, sports, relationships, school, etc. From this book I took away some key pieces of enlightenment:

• I mostly function with a fixed mindset and I do not want to pass that on to my children.
• The words we say to our children have profound effects on their self-image. Even something as simple as saying “good effort” rather than “good job” can improve your child’s understanding of themselves.
• Focusing on children’s behaviors rather than personal attributes is extremely important to let them define their inner selves. Avoid labels like the plague.

Even if you don’t usually like to read, give one of these books a try, whichever looked most interesting to you. Like I’ve said in the past, the main attribute that sets good parents apart is their desire to improve. Join me in improving your abilities as a parent and pick up one of the 3 best parenting books to read this winter.

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1. Wake Up a Half Hour Before the Kids Do

This tip is the one that makes the biggest difference. I don’t know about you, but I am not a morning person. The thought of getting a half hour LESS sleep with small children in the house seemed about as appealing as letting my toddler skip nap time. However, in practice, waking up and collecting yourself at the start of your day makes a world of difference in saving your sanity. I would say ESPECIALLY if you’re not a morning person, you should set your alarm for a half hour before your kids usually wake up. It helps me have some quiet time and get off on the right foot, mentally prepared to face the challenges of the day with toddlers.

2. Exercise Often

Chasing your kids around the house doesn’t count. Take the time to build exercise into your weekly routine for numerous reasons: it improves your mental endurance, boosts mood & energy levels, releases tension, and helps your body feel better. I could list many more benefits of regular exercise, but I think the point is if you exercise–even simply doing yoga at home–you will find staying sane with kids easier.

3. Explore Pastimes & Other Interests

I think as parents we find it so easy to get wrapped up in our roles as mom/dad and push aside our other interests. This is especially true if you’re a working parent; there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Of course it’s important to foster your children’s interests, but if your kids are over-scheduled and you’re not finding time to pursue your own hobbies, a little part of you will go crazy. All of us need to explore our interests and do things for ourselves sometimes, even if it doesn’t make you money. It’s good for you to indulge in a good book, join a photography class, or learn underwater basket weaving (yeah, that’s a thing).

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4. Seek Other Friends Succeeding in Staying Sane With Kids

I’m a firm believer in the power of friendship. As I’ve struggled with my volatile emotions this pregnancy, my alone time with friends is what has helped a lot in keeping me sane. I try to surround myself with friends I admire and look up to. There’s no need for jealousy, only for learning from each other. That’s why I gravitate towards friends who seem to parent effortlessly, staying sane with their kids like it’s no big deal. These are the friends I seek out and spend time with.

5. Take a Break

Parenting is a 24/7 gig, especially if you’re a SAHP. Staying sane with kids involves taking a break sometimes, big or small. Take a break from bickering with your 4 year old know it all and put yourself in “time-out.” Take a break from the monotony of the week and plan a date with your spouse.  Take a break from the life you built and go on a vacation. We all need a break sometimes, no matter how much you love your kids or how wonderful the life you live might be.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to check out more of my parenting articles below.

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I work hard at my temper. I write lots of parenting articles on my blog promoting good parenting, and to me, losing control over your temper does not belong in the realm of good parenting. So I try time and again to tame my temper. I have tried tens of tips over hundreds of hours to find tactics that actually work. And it’s not as simple as “Count to 3 in your head” or “Take a deep breath.” The problem with that is, you’re assuming the person with the temper is in control of their emotions enough to stop before yelling and enact this tactic. If you truly have a temper, you know it’s very hard to stop once you’re close to blowing up. The common advice just doesn’t work. So I figure I must not be alone. Learn to control your temper in ways that ACTUALLY work and read on.

1. Write Down the Offense

After every time you yell at your kids, write down why. What did they do? I write down everything that makes me yell after the fact. I do this exercise in bouts, but I should do it all the time because it works. When I start writing down, I usually write about five things a day (this is yelling, not losing it). Within a couple days I’m down to one or two. This is because writing it down holds you accountable. It makes your temper tangible, the same way writing a to-do list makes you more productive.

This is an example of one of my weekly lists.

Once you have a list of the offenses that caused you to yell, you can start to avoid getting into those situations. You can also look for patterns and decipher what they mean. On my list there was lots of “Lily not listening after I asked the same thing 3 times” and “Nick not sitting in time out after I told him to.” These instances exemplify that my kids have a lack of respect for what I say. They don’t take what I say seriously. I think finding this pattern is what helped me determine what causes me to lose my temper above all else, and it was achieved by writing it down.

2. Have Your Words Taken Seriously

I first read about the “Asked and Answered” technique from a blog article on positive parenting solutions. As I just explained, I most commonly lose my temper when I repeat myself numerous times and my kids do not listen. In order to make your words carry more weight, answer the child’s question, then any further pleading or nagging, respond with a simple phrase: “Asked and answered.” Read more about it in the link to the article. Basically you only answer your child once and then repeat “Asked and answered” until they take what you said seriously.

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I read more about only saying things once in the book “Have A New Kid By Friday” by psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman. He acknowledges the number one reason parents lose their temper is because their words are not respected.

He writes, “If you want your child to take you seriously, say your words only once. Only once. If you say it more than once, you’re implying, ‘I think you’re so stupid that you’re not going to get it the first time, so let me tell you again.’ Is that respectful of your child?”

If you tell your child to clean up their room, do not remind them or yell at them for not doing it immediately. Simply wait until they want something from you (a snack, outside time, etc) and tell them no. They will start to take your words more seriously if you refuse to do anything for them until they have done what you asked of them. These two tactics have tamed my temper IMMENSELY because I’m no longer cajoling my children to listen.

3. Apologize For Losing Your Temper

The type of parent who constantly loses it with their kids is usually an authoritarian. I was raised by a parent like that and I skim the line between authoritarian and authoritative often. One thing an authoritarian can do to control their temper is actually apologize to their child after yelling at them. This is deeply difficult for an authoritarian parent because they are status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without question simply because they are the parent. Apologizing for any behavior undermines their feeling of authority and makes them feel as though they are giving control to their children by asking them for forgiveness.

But, here’s the thing. Losing your temper is not okay. You obviously are ashamed of it, otherwise you wouldn’t have read this far into my article. If you want respect from your children, you need to respect them. And losing your temper, yelling and screaming at them, is not respectful. Would you feel respected if an adult did that to you? Some day your children will be adults and model the behaviors you taught them. Imagine if you had to apologize to your child every time you yelled at them. If you have a bit of an authoritarian in you like I do, you can bet this hurts your ego enough to get you to stop. I never want to be in a position of asking my child for forgiveness, but I believe losing my temper justifies that. Now I lose my temper a lot less to avoid giving apologies.

The other important thing to remember if you struggle with a temper is that you’re not alone. Learn to control your temper by reaching out to other who have the same goal in parenting their children. Make friends with people who are good at implementing positive parenting and make sure you take their advice as helpful, not judgmental. Every day you live with a temper that puts you in guilt, but it can change if you try. Every day your children have to see the angry version of you. Here’s a bonus tip: take a picture of your angriest face, or even of you yelling. It isn’t flattering, let me tell you.

Is that how you want your kids to remember you?

Feel free to share your thoughts, your struggles, and ask questions. I’m in this blogging business to help others!

Read more parenting articles related to this one:

• Prevent Toddler Temper Tantrums
• 5 Discipline Mistakes
• Handle a Tantrum in Public
• What Defines a Good Parent
• How Your Kids Will Love Bedtime
• Parenting Mindset and Language
• How to Discipline Less

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Use Objective, Not Personal Language

It all started when I read this blog post, that advised parenting language towards children to be objective, not personal. This means you say things like, “Colored pencils go in the container.” Instead of “Will you put the colored pencils away for me?” It goes further to discussing bad behavior with your child. “Hitting is unacceptable behavior,” instead of “You cannot hit.” I thought this would be hard for me to enact, but it hasn’t been all that difficult. And it has made a WORLD of difference with my daughter. When something I say is aimed at her, she immediately gets defensive. If it’s communal “We share in our household” or objective “Toilets are icky and not for playing with,” then she responds positively. This prompted me to make this sign you may remember from a few months back:

This sign helps remind my children how we expect them to behave in a communal way, “In our family we are efficient so it should not take this long to eat supper.”

Changing To a Growth Mindset

I delved deeper into this idea when reading the book “Mindset” by Carol Dweck this summer. It’s basically a self help book, but I took its teaching to heart when it came to raising my kids. The more I read through this book, the more I realized the power of parenting language. Dweck outlined two basic mindsets one can have in life – a fixed or a growth mindset. Just hearing those lumped together, I knew right away I had a fixed mindset.

Reading through her book, I saw so many of my personal flaws highlighted and realized I really didn’t want my kids to grow up with the fixed mindset I possess. Unfortunately, a fixed mindset person tends to raise fixed mindset people because of the words they use. Saying things like, “You are so smart!” implies your child’s intelligence is a fixed trait. What if they flunk something? They will no longer see themselves as smart. Of course, intelligence is not fixed and you can continue to learn and expand your mind as you grow. The book teaches you to to encourage the effort of your child instead of praise the result.

Parenting language in action

My daughter and I work on learning something every day for about 15-30 minutes. We usually do spelling, writing, reading, or math. When we began this routine months ago before I read Dweck’s book, Lily would get frustrated at each mistake and give up quickly. It got to the point where she wouldn’t even try unless I helped her because my help ensured she would get it right. I watched one day as my husband successfully taught Lily the basics of subtraction and held her attention for an entire HOUR after I’d spent days trying to teach her to write her name because she would give up each time after fifteen minutes. What was he doing differently than me?

I was coming at the task with a fixed mindset. When she did something successfully I would say, “Good job! You got it right!” When she got something wrong, I would just be silent, waiting for her to realize her mistake. STILL she felt the pressure to be right, even though I wasn’t acknowledging when she was wrong. It stressed Lily out so much she didn’t want to try. Stephen has a natural growth mindset and was encouraging her effort instead of her success. He responded with “Good work! Let’s try again!” And when she got something wrong, he responded with enthusiasm and delight, “Try again!” Just these small changes in our parenting language turned our little girl from someone who didn’t like being taught by her parents, to a kid who loves to learn.

To sum it up, my parenting language has changed over the last few months in a few ways that have really made a big difference. The words we say to our children shape them in ways we can’t foresee!

• Be objective, not personal. Say, “Furniture is not for climbing,” rather than “Do not climb on the furniture.”
• Use communal phrases to encourage cooperation and belonging. Say, “In our family we are kind and hitting your brother is not kind,” rather than “You should not be hitting your brother, that’s not kind.”
• Work towards a growth mindset and express that in language. “You might feel too slow right now, but you can keep practicing and get faster. You can always improve.”
• Encourage effort rather than praise success. “I’m proud of the effort you put into cleaning your room. It looks like you did your best!”

What do you think of this advice? Do you believe in the power of parenting language? Please share if you agreed with this advice!

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1. Make To-Do Lists

Lists are my secret weapon. I turn to them in times of stress, confusion, laziness, and outright turmoil. Lists have helped me in my most unproductive times – those times where you’re burnt out and feel like you have no energy for anything. Here’s why lists are amazing:

– They provide a concrete plan.

– They make goals tangible, after all, you wrote it down.

– They define expectations.

– They help you refocus when your toddler distracts you.

– They provide proof you accomplished something that day.

– Crossing off to-do lists is extremely satisfying.

– They keep you and everyone else in the house on the same page.

– They allow for others to see the work to be done and possibly pitch in.

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Lists have carried me through the time I had one hour to clean the whole house before surprise company arrived, and the time I was functioning off three hours of sleep with an attention needy toddler and newborn, and every day in between. My to-do lists are the number one tool I use to amp up my productivity and it is the first thing I do every morning.

2. Schedule Tasks

Along the same line as lists, scheduling is just another way you can stay productive by ORGANIZING what tasks there are to do. I use a basic cleaning schedule for my home, making sure I clean the bathroom often, laundry gets done in a timely manner, and every week I pick a random “big” task to get done like organizing a messy closet or washing the windows. Below is a basic cleaning schedule I found on Pinterest that I think is very workable.

Scheduling in projects is also a great way for them to actually get done. If you want to redecorate your living room, put it on the calendar. There is something so motivating about writing tasks down. Whenever I have an idea for a furniture redo or craft, I look at my calendar and pick a week that looks good to get it done. I write it down and then when the day arrives, I get started. My creative projects are too important to get pushed to the back burner and so I need to schedule them into my life in order to actually PRODUCE them. Wonder where I find the time to work on creative pursuits? Schedules help with more than cleaning, check out my kids’ daily schedule that allows for me to have free time.

3. Limit Downtime

Surprisingly, productivity begets more energy. Even if you feel like you don’t have the energy to get off the couch and do your dishes, you’ll be amazed when you’re done doing the dishes how you suddenly have the energy to mop the floors. So it’s not usually about actually having the energy, it’s more about having the will to get started. One way to ensure you don’t slump around too much and neglect tackling projects you really want (or need) to do, is limiting your downtime. Obviously everyone needs downtime now and then, but you probably don’t need as much as you think. After all, you’re probably sleeping for at least six hours of your day and surfing Facebook another hour. Here’s another truth:

laziness begets more laziness.

I’m not trying to be a motivational writer, it’s just I know when I slump on the couch, it is hard to get off it. Productive parents don’t want their kids imitating a zombie who watches TV four hours a night. Combat this by choosing down time activities that have a set time frame. Watch a 30 minute long TV episode and then TURN THE SCREEN OFF. Set a timer for an hour before sitting down with your book. Set an alarm when you start dozing off to ensure you just catnap and don’t snooze the afternoon away. It always feels like you’re emerging groggy when you do get off the couch, but turn to your to-do list to remind yourself there are productive things to do!

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I don’t have cable, so I like to pull up a show on HGTV.com to watch for my downtime, usually equaling 40 minutes. My favorite? Fixer Upper. Now THOSE are some productive parents.

There you have it! I have many many more tips in mind but perhaps I will save them for another time (or if nobody cares to read this post, I’ll keep them to myself). Ha! Thanks for stopping by! If you have any ideas and tricks you use to stay productive as a parent with busy kids, please SHARE in the comments! I love to hear from you.

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I wanted to try this idea with my kids to remind them of behavior expectations in our household. I know they can’t read, but I can read the sign to them and point to the rule I want them to follow. Plus, it’s a reminder to me the guidelines and qualities I want to instill in my children.

I got started with a pile of pallet wood boards.

I cut the boards to length and laid them out in the way I wanted.

Stephen and I had compiled a list of 13 qualities we value and want to teach our children. 13 family values. 13 most important things we feel the desire to pass on to our children. But, I only had 6 pallet boards, cut in half made 12. I needed two more (one for the heading phrase). So I used the wood supports I cut off of my most recent furniture redo, the lime green craft dresser.

I cut the dresser legs off & used them as extra sign boards.

Now I had 14 pallet boards!

I flipped all the boards over and screwed in long, thin boards along the back to hold it together. I stood it on end and it worked great!

  

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Then I spray painted it white.

The next part took the longest, but was also the most fun! Each board on the sign got its own family value that I freehand drew on with pencil first, then sharpie. I didn’t use any stencils, so I was very careful writing out the words in pencil first to get the right spacing.

Here’s the final result! I completed this about 3 weeks ago, and Lily has been appreciating the visual reminder and clearly spelled out guidelines for behavior. It’s part of my positive parenting approach. For instance, if Lily does not share, I bring her over to the sign, point to the appropriate value, and say, “In our family we are generous. You are generous and so you share.“

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Recently, my husband and I revisited the topic of vaccinating our children with the CDC’s recommended immunization schedule. It was sparked by a documentary I watched by Jeff Hays entitled, “Bought.” It is a really compelling argument against vaccinations. It pretends to be objective, but it doesn’t present one positive thing about getting your child vaccinated, so I would say it is not. After watching the film, it initiated a lot of questions and doubts in my mind. I’ve always been on the fence about vaccinating my kids, mostly because a few of my close family members are “anti-vaxxers” and I believe them to be trustworthy, smart people. My husband, on the other hand, has always been in favor of getting our children vaccinated. Just before my daughter Lily was born three years ago, I began my research into immunizations.

I felt frightened when I would hear that VAERS and theFederal Department of Health and Human Services are incompetent at helping or funding families who have had a documented adverse reaction to a vaccine. Or when I read about the Merck company falsifying the efficacy of their mumps vaccine in clinical trials. What I am searching for is evidence based care for my kids, the same as when I wrote up my birth plan. I want research backed results to help me conclude the best decision for my children. And guess what? After all this time I’ve spent carefully crossing my t’s and dotting my i’s, I’ve come to the same conclusion the CDC has. It is safe and effective and necessary to vaccinate your children on the recommended immunization schedule. Since I don’t pretend to be an expert on the facts, I want to compile a list of reasons to vaccinate using reputable sources and people who ARE experts in the realm of immunizations.

1. The Likelihood Your Child Will Contract A Preventable Illness Is Much Greater Than The Likelihood They Will Experience An Adverse Reaction To Vaccinations.

On the other hand, the overall incidence rate of severe allergic reaction to vaccines is usually placed around one case for every one or two million injections. So, your chances of contracting a preventable disease are significantly higher than complications from a vaccination. I think most take for granted how few people die from measles, mumps, diphtheria, tetanus, whooping cough, and all those illnesses that used to be common.

2. Baby’s Immune System CAN Handle MORE Than the Current Vaccination Schedule

I found this information from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia interesting,“Children are exposed to fewer immunologic components (like proteins and sugars [polysaccharides]) in vaccines today than in the past. The table below summarizes the number of proteins and polysaccharides contained in routinely recommended vaccines administered over the past 100 years (click for the table). Although we now give children more vaccines, the actual number of immunologic components in vaccines has declined.”

Publichealth.org says, “Based on the number of antibodies present in the blood, a baby would theoretically have the ability to respond to around 10,000 vaccines at one time. Even if all 14 scheduled vaccines were given at once, it would only use up slightly more than 0.1% of a baby’s immune capacity.”

3. Herd Immunity Is Everything – Especially For The Flu Vaccine

Dr. Walt Orenstein, professor at Emory University and former director of the CDC’s National Immunization Program from 1988-2004, explains it best here:

“There is evidence that influenza vaccination can induce herd immunity, or community protection. What does that mean? It turns out that mathematical modelers can estimate the actual number of transmissions an infectious person with influenza could transmit to if all they came in contact with were susceptible people. Influenza, most estimates, are one and a half to two people. What this means is if I have influenza, and all I come into contact with are susceptible people, I will, on average, transmit to two people, who will in turn each transmit to two people, etc.If we reach an immunity level of 50% in our population, then of my two contacts, one is likely to be immune, and one susceptible. Thus, I would transmit to one person, and instead of growing transmission, it would be flat. If the immunity level goes above 50%, on average, I will transmit to less than one person and transmission will then die out. Since influenza vaccine on average is about 60% effective, and if the herd immunity threshold is 50%, then if we can achieve about an 83-84% vaccine coverage level in most seasons, we can essentially stop influenza transmission. Thus, for influenza, for those of us who are vaccinated, it is particularly important that we advocate with people we come in contact with that they also be vaccinated, since in most influenza seasons, those of us who are vaccinated would have a 40% chance of being vaccinated. Thus, herd immunity, or community protection, is very important to minimize the impact of influenza-caused disease.”

This explanation helped me to understand why getting a flu vaccine has a purpose for everyone, not just those susceptible to complications from the flu (very young & very old).

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