How Your Kids Will Love Bedtime
Have you ever seen that TV show “Supernanny?” One of the biggest challenges she always seemed to face was getting the children to bed. I think this is a challenge for many parents. Everyone knows the best way for a successful bedtime is a routine. Jammies, brush teeth, book, good night. But I think it goes beyond that. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what my husband and I do to create a successful bedtime every night. Hopefully some of our method can help you!
Do you ever get this face when you tell the kids it’s time for bed? This post if for you.
1. Have a consistent bedtime.
I read in my Parenting magazine that an increasing number of parents have an inconsistent bedtime for their children. This is likely because parents do not want their lives to stop at 8:00 pm every night. But a consistent bedtime helps your child know what to expect, avoid being over-tired, reduce anxiety, and promotes predictable behavior. Even very small children have a sense of time (I go to bed approximately this long after dinner). Consistency does not mean you strive for it, it means it happens day in and day out, whether you want your life to stop or not. I can’t stress enough the importance of having your kids on a schedule.
2. Watch your language, Mom!
One thing is crucial–and often overlooked–do not use bedtime as a punishment. When you say to your child, “If you don’t stop, you’re going straight to bed!” your language clearly implies bedtime is a bad thing. Why don’t you say, “After your bath, you get to go to bed!” if you want your kid to enjoy bedtime? Replace, “have to” with “get to” and you’ll see an improvement in their attitude towards bedtime.
3. Screens off
Some people think it is helpful to let their kid watch a TV show or view other screens before bed because it makes them drowsy. The drowsy part is true: when children watch screens, their brain is very susceptible to “zoning out” and it actually emits wavelengths similar to those in Stage 2 sleep. This is why pediatricians recommend no screens for children under age two. But regardless of your kid’s age, screens within an hour of bedtime does not help them get to a healthy state of mind. It actually hinders their natural ability to calm themselves into a restful sleep. Screens before sleep at any age has also been shown to increase anxiety.
Goodnight, goodnight, my friends goodnight
4. Do not give in to demands
Often children want one more book, or a little glass of water, or have to go to the bathroom for the third time before bed. These are not realistic needs, these are ways they can prolong the time they are awake and possibly get to play. For a while, we fulfilled these demands before bed with our daughter, but tried to make them extremely dull and to the point. If she wanted to go potty another time, we put her on the toilet and sat waiting quietly; we even avoided turning on the bathroom light. But each night it seemed like there was one more thing that had to be done before bed. Make your routine short, and don’t give in to demands that prolong it. It signals to your child they have control over whether or not they go to bed by asking for something to avoid sleep a little longer.
5. Recap the day
Do you ever put your kid into bed and say “Tomorrow Grandma and Grandpa are coming to visit! Make sure you get some rest and when you wake up, they’ll be here!” This is not the way to settle down a child for restful sleep. Even if they have the desire to fall asleep faster so the event can happen, it will be difficult for them to calm their excitement of what’s to come. You can also bet they’ll awake an hour before they normally do so the next day can start. Instead, recap the day that is behind them. Say something like, “Wasn’t today nice? We went to the park and played in the sunshine. Now it is dark and time for bed.” This not only allows the child to quiet themselves through reflection, but talking to your child about past events has been shown to enhance memory and intelligence.
Through these five tips, I hope your child begins to love bedtime. Use this advice in conjunction with my toddler temper tantrum techniques, and you’ll never have a bedtime meltdown again.
